Thursday, September 9, 2010

Why Didn't I Know This When I Was Pregnant?!

Sometimes, I feel like banging my head on the wall.

Sure, this may sound appealing and somewhat cathartic, if you're into that kinda thing, but for me it's just out of sheer stupidity.  And too much confidence.  How hard could it be??  If those tweens from I'm 16 and Pregnant could handle motherhood like a pro, I was pretty sure I could wing it.

1.  The Pregnancy Glow

There's no such thing.  Neither is it true when they say you glow more when having a girl. Believe me when I say it's a marketing scheme- to make you buy more of those expensive maternity creams, clothes and elastic belts with the promise that you will be the glowing prego you ought to be.  Bull.  I was ugly as fuck when I was pregnant.  I was bloated, pimply and dry.  A glowing woman I was not, and I have yet to meet a lady who basks in her pregnant beauty.  Trust me, I look slightly cuter now that the pregnancy hormones are out of my system.

2.  The Registry

If you're reading this, I bet you're one of those new moms who registered for the Soothing Spa Tub at Babies R Us, only to find out later on that it makes no sense to bathe your slippery newborn in aromatic bubbles.  You want them outta there, pronto-- unless you're a sadist who gains pleasure from seeing your baby freeze.

Anyway, I wish we gave much more thought in what to register for instead of going straight to Babies R Us clueless of what we really needed.  Once a rep hands you that scanner gun, you will be entranced by the scanning sound it makes and before you know it, you are click, click, clicking your way into buying more newborn clothes than you'll need, the cute bassinet with a canopy and a stupid vibrating tub that makes bubbles.

Having said this, be one step ahead and do your baby registry at just like what my friend and fellow new mom Kitten did.  Read and trust the reviews and take note of your future lifesavers like Sophie the Giraffe, Bumbo, Soothie, Moby Wrap, Jumperoo and Gymini.

3.  Breastfeeding

Before I go any further, I'd like to say that breast is best and I give props to all the breastfeeding mothers of the world. There are mommies out there who just shove their boob in their baby's mouth like it's nobody's business. How hard is it to just whip the damn thing out anyway?

Apparently, quite difficult.

I wasn't aware that my boobs will feel like rocks and that during the first few days of breastfeeding, it will feel a lot like a dog gnawing mercilessly on my nipples.  More often than not, there will be redness. And soreness.  And if you're one of the lucky few, there will be blood.

But then you gotta feed that little sucker.  Unless you wanna be labeled as a maternal failure, you gotta breastfeed and breastfeed until your pupils have dilated wide enough and you can no longer feel your arms.  What about the times your baby falls asleep during a feeding?  Oh, of course you have to pump!  You gotta pump the other boob while your little one feeds on the other.  This is why they invented those hands free pumping bras: to give you an extra hand while you breastfeed, pump, and sterilize bottles all at the same time. Wooohoooo! Cheers to Supermom!

But don't give up just yet.  I once saw a picture of a mom (a La Leche League founding member)  in Disneyland breastfeeding her 5 year old son.  In line.  Wow.  That's all I can say.  Just.. Wow.

All I'm saying is that there will be hurdles.  It could be thrush, lactose intolerance or a dwindling supply, but there will be instances where you have to make a choice between breastfeeding and formula feeding.  It took me 4 months of breastfeeding to realize it's not for me and I'm not gonna kill myself over it.  The most important thing is that my daughter and I are both happy and I can finally get rid of those ugly nursing bras.  So to all you formula feeding moms out there who tried but couldn't, put your hands up in the air and lemme hear you say HO!

4.  Lamaze Classes

I never knew that Lamaze Classes were all about preparing you for natural labor.  Natural, ergo, no epidural.  No epidural, ergo, lots of pain.  Lots of pain, ergo, not for me.

Had I known that before coughing up $100 to preoccupy the last 4 Saturdays of my pregnancy, I would have demanded for a refund right away.  Sure, I enjoyed the massages and all the rainforest imagery they make you think of, but other than that, I was dead set on getting an epidural so I didn't really need to know what a birthing ball is for.  Birthing balls are not for women who think that c-sections should be a choice instead of a last resort.

So yeah, if you plan on going all natural, I highly recommend the classes.  However, if you're just like me and you intend to be drugged throughout your entire labor, save your money for more important things like Mederma.


The real L.A. love story. said...

hi tina! yes remember that this is your blog and do with it what you want and don't feel the need to jump on the bandwagon anywhere. just make this your space and keep things real and the people that you would want around will be here and spread the world. so far i like what youre doing and as a new mom, i am obsessed with reading and talking about it. :)

Kitten said...

Oh dear, where do I start? Four topics to comment on! Haha.

First, I have to disagree with you on the PREGNANCY GLOW. I like to believe I did glow and I LOVED how I looked when I was pregnant, even with the extra 40 pounds! My hair was fantastic, no need for Xtenso or Brazilian Blowouts, my skin was glowing, and for the first time in a decade or so, when I looked in the mirror, I would say, "darn, I look good!". So yeah, I got the most compliments in my lifetime when I was as big as a cow! It went downhill after the pregnancy... Hair started falling, skin started to flake, ugly c-section scar, and here I am, 4 months after and still cannot fit in most of my pre-pregnancy clothes! One thing I have to be thankful for though is I was able to dodge the dreaded stretchmarks!

The Registry. Thanks for the shutout! I think I over-registered and overbought stuff too, I had so many things that I ended up not needing like the itzbeen baby care timer (wtf right?), the baby breathing and motion detector, the wipes warmer (yeah, get your LO used to this one, good luck on doing a nappy change when not at home), and the list goes on... like you, I wish somebody told me about these things early on!

Breastfeeding. Ahhh, my biggest FAILURE in life. It was breastmilk or nothing, that was my plan. To all the mommies out there who are having a c-section and intend to breastfeed, ASK your doctor to give you a small dose of pitocin after the surgery so that the body can release the oxytocin... which signals the body that the baby is OUT hence, not delaying your milk supply! Wish I knew this! Since birth, I would breastfeed my DD and pump every 2 fuckin hours for 15 minutes, yes no sleep for me, and my milk didn't come until the 6th day! By then, DD had already lost over 10% of her birthweight. So we supplemented using an SNS system, still pushing to breastfeed, even hired a lactation consultant to visit us at home... costs $150 for 1 hour visits, and darling DD still couldn't get her latch right... so, without sleep and doing this whole song and dance with breastfeeding, what happens? Mumsy had to be given happy pills! something's gotta give... At least DD was able to get colostrum, thats what I keep telling myself. Now I am stuck with an expensive breastpump, brestfriend pillows, breastfeeding covers in every shade (to match my outfits when breastfeeding in public), boxes of organic mothers milk tea, fenugreek capsules, hands free pumping bras, breast wiped, pads, name it, I have them all. Such a waste! I applaud you for being able to do it for 4 months Tina, thats the best gift any mom can give her child!

Lamaze Classes. I thought it was awesome, but I ended up having an emergency c-section so once again, WHAT A WASTE!!! Need I say more? LOL.

In the end I guess it doesn't matter what we knew or didn't know before having our little ones... because here we are taking care of our healthy babies FULL TIME, and by this I mean 24 hous a day-- no less, and we still manage to blog (plus stalk people on facebook for you) and do other things. Shit happens, it doesn't matter how the journey was like to get to where we are now, but every mom sure gets to where they are supposed to be.


*Didn't realize this comment would end up to be this long, LOL. Oops... didn't mean to hijack your post, dear!

Sustainable Family Finances said...

Fun to follow along your mom adventures. I've got two little ones myself, the second born at home by water birth. Keep up the great work.



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