My name is Tina and I have colic.

I am shameless to admit that I have the tendency to be an annoying, in-your-face, know-it-all brouhaha and I am fond of giving unsolicited advice to friends who politely pretend to listen.  Yes bitches, I know, but by all means, carry on because it feels nice :)

I also have to mention that I am insanely competitive, even when it comes to something as trivial as boggle.  I love that game.  I'd rip people's heads off for that game, but it really doesn't need to come to that.  A little cheating here and there secures my place on the top spot. I guess this is the reason I've been told that it's a really good thing God made me a woman, because if I bring in this brand of cockiness as a man, I would've been gunned down before hitting puberty.

Naturally, I expected this alpha female personality to transcend to motherhood, but as soon as I came face to face with the horrors of breastfeeding and sleep deprivation, I realized I may have spoken too soon.  Terrified of being labeled as a failure, I became moody, manic and fussy.  It's unfair how newborns have it so easy. Well, sort of. They have the right to be inconsolable for hours, days and months and parents can easily chalk it up as colic.  What about newborn moms?  You just can't tell everyone you're teething on days when frustration sets in and you really feel like chewing on your husband's ear.  First, it doesn't work that way.  Second, he's not going to appreciate it.  Trust me, I've been there.

If you're anything like me, don't raise the white flag just yet.  Once this overwhelming reality sinks in and you take a good whiff of your unshowered  pits, you'll soon realize that there are other new moms just like you.  The ones who are as clueless and as terrified.  In case you can't find them, I hope you find solace in reading this blog.  Because here I am 4 months after-  still shitting-in-my-pants scared.  Still colicky and still somewhat fussy.

Yet, a little less selfish, a little more confident, and... slightly smellier.
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