A Little Moment of Tenderness Please

Yuna's godmother emailed me this beautiful piece she wrote as an excerpt from our dinner last Friday, and it seriously melted my heart.  She blogs random things privately, so private, I'm still trying to figure out how to hack into this secret blog of hers.  I wish I could see the world through her observant eyes sometimes.  This post reminded me of how refreshing it is to take a step back from the redundancy of writing about myself, my life and my family alone, and that when you take yourself out of the picture, you learn to appreciate beauty in the mundane.

Cast of Characters:

November 5, 2010

It was another exciting night at Soup Plantation. I have learned to just enjoy the company. This may not be my ideal Friday night. Mica of 6 months ago would have deemed this activity depressing. She would have surveyed the situation and concluded to pitying herself for being in such a ridiculously simple dinner out with friends, instead of being somewhere more “interesting” or more” worthy” of her time.

But lately I’ve learned to not push it. There’s a good reason why this is so right now and I will no longer exert the effort to figure out why. It is what it is.

This is quiet. This is humility. This is enjoying a simple dinner with friends. Maybe, later on it will be different. Maybe not. I’ve learned that if I truly wanted to change, I will find a way. So I guess at this point I’ve learned a little bit more patience. The pinch will come. But right now, I am here.

I noticed how Tina’s hair was really beautiful tonight. How incredibly good looking Shi really is. How huge Yuna is becoming. How witty Liz is. And Rudi... well he was on the phone for the most part. But there was much laughter. 

I shared how I’d scare my children into staying virgins by telling them that a family ceremony of candles must be done should they decide to have sex for the first time. Tina laughed and added that we should call it something like the “Exaltation” ceremony and tell my children that I’ll be inviting family members to this event. Much like a debut would be. Then Liz asked what I’d do if my children DID come to me and tell me that they were “ready.” I said that they would definitely be invited.

I also learned of Tina’s ridiculous phobia for holes. She spent the first part of the night searching for pictures of holes on her phone and then proceeded to present this to us, the next picture supposedly worse than the previous. I suppose she wanted to brainwash us into acquiring the phobia as well. Typical Tina.

While I somehow see where the grossness lies, her persistence in finding the worst hole picture - which meant that every time she was subjecting herself to her worst fear – made me wonder how much of a masochist this friend of mine really is. It almost seemed as if the goose bumps were getting her high. 

Beside her sat Yuna. Beautiful, large Yuna. She was in her usual quiet demeanor. Observing wisely and occasionally shooting her mother strange looks as if wanting to shut her up. This kid has spunk, has a lot of wisdom packed into her little Aries body. This sometimes surprises me, given my impression of how Aries people are supposed to act. I like how she proves me wrong at so early in her life. She’s probably on her 3^rd lifetime (I wrote about this in one of my many Random Writing word documents).

Beside Yuna, was Shi. I’ve been meaning to tell someone, how I am beginning to see how truly good looking this man is. And I think what makes him even more lovely is his warm personality. He is a fantastic friend. And I say this about him especially because he was the one “friend” I knew the least about prior to coming here. I always thought his and my personalities were on entirely different planes. I was very uninterested in our conversations before. Then again, this was back when I thought the world of myself.  Months later though, broken down, stripped and forced to observe I am finding that Shi holds such an interesting personality. His sense of humor is coming out (mostly at the expense of Tina – I love it when couples are able to make fun of each other and not be so goddamn mushy) and when he is at ease and less conscious of himself, he is absolutely lovely and endearingly corny.

Then Rudi. It is unfortunate that on the night I decide to write about my friends, he sat on the farthest corner away from my observing eyes and was oddly on the phone for the most part (later on I’d find out he was in the middle of selling his bike). Anyway, Rudi is quiet. He is mostly unassuming but has bursts of witty remarks. I don’t think he’s fully aware of the range of his talent. But that’s getting too deep. On the way to Soup Plantation, I lightly asked him why he never seems to get jealous. Does he think he’s all that? Liz and I laughingly teased him. In retort he started to pretend to get jealous of not being included in Liz’s dream of her ex boyfriend. His statements were measured, calculated and though he wanted to appear that he was joking, I could sense that this release of “feelings” was a sensation he was excited to explore and at the same time uneasy about. I admire that he tries. That when pushed he will actually try and explore what you lay out before him.

Beside me was Liz. My impression of her, in the early months of living with her was that she was a little detached. She has a wonderful dry sense of humor which I think she subconsciously uses to mask emotion or vulnerability. She chooses to show what she wants to show. Slowly though, as the days pass and as I get to know her better, I’m beginning to see a much softer side. There is no doubt that she is a strong woman. Yet I think that she’s still at a stage where she’s trying to prove it, for some reason. And so the strength is still very outward which sometimes leads to stubbornness or the unwillingness to change her convictions for the sake of principles. 

Earlier today, I was talking to a classmate who remarked at how easy it is for me to change my mind about my opinions. On the other hand, she, once decided will stick to her decision through and through. While that shows remarkable dedication to one’s belief, which I think is needed to survive in such flakey social environments, I also believe that being able to adapt and admit that maybe there are flaws is also a mark of strength and maturity. Admitting you may be wrong after all is such a wonderful character strengthening exercise.

But back to Liz. Bottom line is, she is a very very beautiful person. Passionate about what she believes in, very easy, very kind. She and Rudi have a very normal relationship, void of drama save for occasional fights about being late. I was telling them (on a day that I baptized as “Housemate Appreciation Day” – when, I forgot. Point is, it exists) how lucky I am to have them as housemates. 

How many will go so far as to take me to acting class and pick me up afterwards? How many will be willing to share their dinner to their less-skilled-in-cooking house mates?

I have always been privileged with great friends. From my days in OBMC to MC to DLSU to Myx to GHP to Burbank Blvd. It feels as though life, God, in exchange for bringing me into earth as a math-challenged, big toothed, socially awkward being, has surrounded me with wonderful souls to interact and play with. It’s a nice balance.

Mic, I'm not kidding when I said that this is the most brilliant non-self-serving piece I've read in a while. Thank you for allowing me to share your thoughts with the world.