Friday, December 17, 2010

Jillsmo Wants to Run Away From Home



Jill asked me if she could use my blog to post something she doesn't want her family to read, and I agreed to do it in a heartbeat.  I don't get this type of request everyday, and who could resist NOT posting something about a mother's burning desire to run away from home? Haven't we all been there before?  I know I have.  I ran away, went to the mall for two hours, and got myself a nice leather jacket instead of buying much needed groceries.  I'm so bad, I ought to be jailed.

Anyway, here you go Jill.  Chug that liquor down, sister.
____________________________________________________________ 



Oh, wait… first some disclaimers. Love my kids, best kids ever, husband great, blah blah blah. Okay, did that. Back to my point.

I speak, in this house, and my words apparently just float into the air and out the window. I yell, in this house… and people turn and look at me with GREAT SURPRISE, and then turn and go back to what they were doing.

I’m sorry… children… but where did you learn that it is acceptable to simply ignore me when I tell you to do something, like go to bed? Brushing your teeth is not a choice that you have, and when I tell you to do it, you don’t get to say “No, thanks, I’m not going to do that tonight,” YOU FUCKING DO IT. These things are not optional, this is not a democracy, this is a dictatorship, and not even a benign one at the moment.

Child 1 has autism, but he does not get a pass because of it. I know his hearing is fine, I know he’s capable of doing all of these things, it just takes him longer than most and he needs extra time to do his little autie dance in the process; I’m cool with that. But there are times when I’ll say something, he’ll turn and look at me in acknowledgment, and then just go back to what he was doing; because drawing a picture of BART tracks is much more preferable than putting on his pajamas. Of course it is, he’s a kid, but when I tell you to put down the marker and go get your pajamas on… put down the fucking marker and go get your pajamas on.

Child 2 does not have autism, he is a little drama queen. Everything is an argument, there are questions, he can’t just do the thing, first he has to get distracted by a million other things, and then when I remind him, I’ll get “I was going to but you distracted me” or “stop making me not eat my dinner” or “you’re making me sad” or “if you would just stop talking then I could do what you’re asking but since you won’t stop talking I’m not going to do it.” Sometimes I just fucking lose it and yell, which makes him cry even more, which extends the whole drama for another 10-15 minutes or so. For the most part I’m able to control myself, like when I’m trying to get them to school and he’s walking really slowly because, apparently, my talking is making his feet hurt, I know that yelling will only make him start to cry and collapse in a dramatic heap on the floor, so I don’t.

And where is the husband during all of this? He’s either working and not around or he’s playing possum and ignoring it all. He has this amazing ability to be in the room, but not in the room. I’m screaming and yelling, kids are running everywhere, and the husband doesn’t even notice a fucking thing; he might as well still be at work. I sometimes have to throw stuff at him to get his attention, and then he’s all “huh? What? What’s going on?” Are you fucking kidding me? Do you not hear your very dramatic child sobbing in the next room because I smiled at his brother when I was supposed to be serious? No, he doesn’t hear that; of course not. And does he help? Only when I throw things at him, or threaten to run away from home. Then he does so, very reluctantly, but it’s okay, because I’m still the bad guy with all the rules.

I know that this is typical; I know that every mom goes through this, I don’t think I’m unique or special because of any of this. This is just how it is. Sometimes I want to run away from home. Instead I’ll have a drink, because tomorrow the whole thing just starts right back up again.

23 comments:

jillsmo said...

OH that picture! SO AWESOME!!

Thank you Tina!! You rock :)

Bevin @ allisbright.net said...

Haha, this is great! She couldn't have stated it better.

Emily said...

There are perks, and there are drawbacks, to having such a chill husband-dude. My prediction is that yer doomed until C2 hits twelve or thirteen and starts giving hubs a man vs. man hard time.

And that's when YOU get to go put yer feet up and drink some wine while hubs has to teach C2 appropriate things to do with his penis. Or whatever boys do at that age. :P

jillsmo said...

Yeah, what DO fathers teach their 13 year old sons?

Emily said...

I don't have the faintest idea but I am looking forward to watching it unfold. I mean, soon you're gonna have a house full of even GUY-ier guys. /shudders

jillsmo said...

DO NOT LIKE

Tina@ www.theteethingmom.com said...

Do boys have a lot of teenage issues? I was told that it's easier to have girls from birth until they're 12, because by the time they're 13, they become too emo and suddenly, you're the most annoying person in the world. From what I hear, boys tend to get better with age. Is that true, Emily?

Big Daddy Autism said...

Huh? What's going on? Did you say something?

RacersMommy said...

OMG that's soooo not freaking true about boys getting better with age. I've got a 14yr old son that I want to strangle on a daily basis, right along with my 13yr old emo brat of a daughter. And since my hubby isn't their Bio dad they dnt listen to anyone.

I'd like to run away but can I take my autism kid with me cause sometimes he's the only one that doesn't give me issue most days.

Jessica said...

This could start a whole new great venting trend. Everyone can go somewhere else and spill it.

Jill since I am still in denial that things will only get better from here I am going to say that your boys will be much easier as teenagers and then your husband will be handling all of the hormonal stuff and talks about girls while you are out shopping and drinking.

I will always remember this post. The post drew out my first public f bomb.

antoinette said...

i wish i could drink, i cant im breast-feeding

Inara Jones said...

So glad to hear I'm not the only one who wants to run away from home sometimes.

Anonymous said...

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RacersMommy said...

Hye Knolera Jones who thinks she can post anonymous then put her name....get a freaking clue. Only thing you are going to be famous for is messing with the rest of us.

Not all of us are white, go play the color card somewhere else

antoinette said...

how is skin colour relevant?

antoinette said...

hopefully your kid's aren't racist with bad grammar

myevil3yearold said...

I have actually grabbed my keys, slammed the door, started my SUV. I started to put it in reverse when I saw my little one looking out the window crying.

I felt like crap so I walked back inside and my husband came around the corner and said suprisd "Oh, are you going somewhere?"

Anonymous said...

Terrific work! This is the type of information that should be shared around the web. Shame on the search engines for not positioning this post higher!

mrs.g said...

Is Kholera like the cool, new name for infectious, deadly disease? Fail.

Janette said...

It is okay to rant. I wish it wasn't so chaotic in your house. Hope things get better. You are allowed to have a drink.

Jennifer Windsor said...

I so feel your pain, my children don't listen and neither did my husband, something had to give so buhbye husband. Children still don't listen until I yell, but at least there's only 2 of them.

michelle said...

Awesome. And universal.

Next time be bwave and post at home :)

Carolyn said...

Your pictures are lovely! Hope things get better.
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